Friends with Felicia

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge. Each post will be associated with a letter of the alphabet with the theme ‘Letters to my younger self’.

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Hello wide-eyed 18-year-old me,

During orientation next week, you’ll meet many people, future friends, who will mark your life. One of these will be an outspoken and seemingly perpetually bubbly girl named Felicia. At first, you will be quite intimidated by her directness but you will grow accustomed to it, and her many (very many) other idiosyncrasies.

She will not be like anyone you’ve ever known. She is fearless and carefree. Confidence and worldliness ooze from her pores and the boys will gravitate towards her. At that time, you’ll think that she is the you that you wish you could be.

In the first year, she will be your classmate and in the second, a roommate as well. You will share secrets, mostly yours. She will make your eyes go wide with stories of her escapades. There’ll be many moments of uproarious laughter. You will be fast friends. Almost best friends.

In that time too, you’ll discover that she is outspoken not because she believes in her point of view and insists on being heard but because she likes the attention she gets when she says something shocking. You’ll learn that the confidence she projects hides a deep insecurity. But the most important thing you’ll learn will be that you are her friend until you cease to be entertaining.

It will be one of the most difficult friendships you will have but you will strive to hold on to it because well, that’s what friends do. Eventually though, you will grow weary of holding on, only to realise that all along you were the only one doing so. She will let go of your friendship and you will not even realise it.

When you meet Felicia next week, know that she will be your friend but also know that you have a choice whether you want to be hers. And by the way, you will be amazing the way you are.