only
if it was
Razor Sharp.
But if it wasn’t
then I’d press the knife
gently
against
the dimpled
juicy
luscious
skin
of a nectarine.
until the sweet juices
trickle out
gushes
down my wrist
my forearms
my elbow.
and drips onto the floor
beside my sandaled feet.
‘Those are mammatus clouds,’ he told me.
I look upwards
True enough,
like mammary glands, I could see,
those clouds overhead.
I got into my car,
and off I went.
Rain came falling,
Visibility dwindling.
That’s the normal trend.
I started my wiper.
Oops, they flew off.
Problem…
I’m pretty sure of it.
I’ve signed the papers
and soon
we’ve to make an announcement.
Then all hell will break loose,
or it won’t.
It could go either way.
Irregardless,
people will have to know,
roles adjusted,
responsibilities divvied up.
I’m ready,
I think.
Or as ready as I can be.
Are you?
And so it begins.
And so,
the birds – they wake me
in the morning.
I hear them chirping,
sweetly singing.
I look out my window
it overlooks the pond.
I see an egret
scooping fishes with it’s beak!
I am incensed!
I run downstairs,
and rummage in the store room,
And rush out my house.
until I was face-to-face
with the fish-stealing feathered creature.
I point my hunting gun.
And shoot.
There we stood,
Opposite,
Me on one side,
You the other,
Masks in place,
In my jacket,
I perspire,
Trying to remember,
Exactly where to attack,
Those vulnerable spots
on your body
which will benefit me most.
Swords at ready,
En garde we hear,
Oui we respond,
The buzzer sounds
And off we go
Attacking hearts for points.
If I could unpeel you from me,
I’d take a knife to my skin.
If I could dislodge you from my heart,
I’d take a shovel to my chest,
If I could unsee your face,
I’d gouge my eyes with a fork,
If I could disremember your voice,
I’d pierce my eardrums till they bleed,
If I could unforget,
I’d bang my head against wood.
If I could unlove you,
I would.
In the morning
is when the best dreams come
when I awake
and return to sleep.
I dream
of all loves
and old crushes
of schoolgirl days
when passing notes
and how to do them
were my biggest concern.
I dream
of the future
premonitions of
my married self,
wife and mother.
the daughter and son
that I will have.
I dream of the love
I feel for them
people who have not existed yet
but only in my morning dreams.
So, in the morning
let me wake,
So I can go to sleep again.
And dream.
Just because it is unsaid
Does not mean it was held back
Doesn’t mean it was intentionally withheld
The words were kept within
No, don’t tell me omission is a sin.
Just because I don’t feel
what you think I should feel
Doesn’t mean my feelings are less
Doesn’t mean they’re invalid
Incorrect,
vapid.
Just because you don’t believe me,
Doesn’t mean it’s untrue,
Can’t you tell,
it’s not me,
only you
who weaves webs of lies
trapping everyone.
Who are you anyway?
To name yourself our judge,
To preside over us.
You’re imperfect too
You omit, you distract, you delay.
Trust me,
if there was, I’d find another way.
I scrutinise it
every single day.
I turn and look
this and that way.
I lean closer to the mirror
taking a closer look,
I reach in with my fingers
with a soft pluck, I took
my first grey hair.
I thought it was the light.
There’s no denying it now,
Yes, I’m old, all right!
Let’s be honest.
You need me,
More than I need you.
It was only me who couldn’t see.
It was me who stayed
when everyone said to flee.
Let’s get it straight.
Everything that’s happened?
All the ugly shit and stuff?
I take full responsibility.
You’ll never own up (coward),
So,
it might as well be me.
Let’s cut the chase.
We only tolerated each other,
You hate my timidity,
I hate your guts,
But we were useful
to one another, you see.
Me, for my heritage.
You, for your money.
Don’t you just love all this honesty?
WORDS from SONOBE 