Get ready for Giggles and Grimaces

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge. Each post will be associated with a letter of the alphabet with the theme ‘Letters to my younger self’.

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Dear 33-year-old me,

After Lei Kun gently insists that you be more proactive about your love life, instead of waiting for your knight in shining armour to find you since it’s obvious he’s lost his way (faulty GPS, possibly or weary horse), you will sign up for a matchmaking service. Don’t scoff. You’ve told yourself that this is something you’ll never do but you will. Really, you will.

As you fill in the forms, answering questions like What is your preference for hair in your future match? (you will want to answer Must have hair but the only options are bald, crew cut, medium, long, no preference) and What is your preference for body type in your future match? (you will cringe as you read your options – slim, medium, bulky, no preference), you will not be able to help but ask yourself “How did I get here?”

You will feel slightly nervous before you meet the first match the agency will arrange for you and will ask friends what you will expect. Unfortunately, no one you know has gone through what you will go through and they will not be able to prepare you.

Never fear; I am here and I’ll keep the information to a helpful minimum.

Firstly, do not agree when The Surgeon asks you if you want to see pictures of his surgeries. He’ll show you pictures of brains, you’ll be grossed out and won’t be able to enjoy your dinner. Please order the sirloin steak, he will insist on paying.

The Economist will appear tired and confused at the start of dinner. Be patient when he asks you why you have two drinks. Explain slowly that one is water, the other is a cocktail. You will need to repeat this at least twice.

Mr. Bobble Head’s head will bobble. Do. Not. Laugh. He. Will. Be. Offended.

The Drifter will want to elaborate on his love for his cat. Don’t interrupt with questions and you will survive to enjoy dessert.

Do not ask Mr. Jazz Hands what type of dance he’s learning. Unless you want the patrons of the restaurant to give you pitying looks while he demonstrates his dance moves. Yes, he will.

And there will be a 6th match but don’t worry, he will be harmless. And will also spend the rest of dinner speaking about his job. It will not be necessary for you to respond as he will be fine to carry the conversation on his own.

Hope you’ll feel better now about your upcoming dates. Enjoy yourself. And laugh!

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29 thoughts on “Get ready for Giggles and Grimaces

  1. Now I’m curious which matchmaking service you signed up with 🙂 Sounds different from the online dating thingies I’ve been trying. I’m not sure if it is better to have bad dates or no dates, LOL.

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    • I did the lunch dating thingy but I never had lunch. Just dinners cos I’m busy at lunch LOL Well, bad dates are fun for the entertainment value and once you’ve had bad dates, no dates sounds like heaven!

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      • But bad dates make for such interesting stories! LOL Ah I did the lunch dating thingy but at the beginning, when they first launched. They didn’t have enough people in their database, so I only went on one date. Now they’re waaaay too expensive for me.

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    • Thanks Amos! Now when I’m in a “How did I get here” situation, I remind myself that this will someday be funny and I will write about it LOL Helps me to be patient and get through that icky time! Happy A to Z to you too!

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  2. I giggled while reading the bit about describing the physical appearance of the guy. And the brains. Oh how would he think that’s a suitable photo to show you on a first date?

    Another great post from you 🙂

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    • The brains is so that I will be impressed that he’s a brain surgeon and he has delicate hands to operate on brains…but yeah, I rolled my eyes a little

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    • LOL There were times during those blind dates that I wished my parents had chosen the potential matches instead of the agency which I paid money to! 🙂

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  3. You have a great book here with all your dating post themes and with all the comments one each post. It could be a hilarious, sarcastic look at dating. Sort of, the What Not To Do in the Dating World. You could write a chapter on each on of these dating profiles. Also in the A to Z Challenge.

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  4. Visiting in the A to Z race. What a fantastic theme you have going here, have read a few posts and had to hit “follow” straight away, not to miss the coming ones! I had to smile at this one, as I tried an online matching site once. I thought I’d never do anything like that, and sitting on the train on my way to our first offline meeting (after some very nice mail exchange and a few phone conversations), I also promised myself NEVER to put myself through such an experience again, I was so nervous and it was so awkard. I never had to do it again, there was a connection from the first moment and we’ve been together for 14 years now, married for ten. When it works out, it’s magic!

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    • Yay you! Love that you have a happy ending with your online date 🙂 I know several who have had success too. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them for now LOL

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