Day 23: Things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you
How to roll your eyes without rolling your eyes – This skill took me several years to master and I learnt it as part of my (unofficial) on-the-job training. As far as I know, it’s not in any school syllabus or as a pre-requisite for any job but it’s definitely something that everyone should learn because there will be moments when you have to roll your eyes or your eyes involuntarily roll themselves and you want to be able to do that without attracting attention.
How to come up with at least 17 different and unique responses to the No. 1 question nosy relatives (and smug married friends) love to ask i.e. “Why are you still single?” – At first, keeping mum and mumbling is the best response, followed by coming up with excuses like “Oh, I think I hear someone calling my name.” This is not a sustainable method of evasion. It is recommended that one views this exchange as potentially entertaining and devise responses that will stop nosy relatives from ever asking you this question ever again.
How to convincingly agree with your boss’s insane ideas which you strongly disagree with – Just nod and say OK then do what you like.
How to let go of friendships that hurt you more than than they help – Friends like these won’t even realise that you’ve not responded to their emails/ texts so basically, do nothing.
How to effectively (more or less) piece together a broken heart – Time and avoid people who tell you that it’s part of growing up and you just have to get over it as if it’s just a bump in the road when in reality it’s wading through and clawing out of a huge mountain of bullshit. I don’t recall “How to detect a bullshitter 101” when I was choosing courses in university ;P