Choosing Canada

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge. Each post will be associated with a letter of the alphabet with the theme ‘Letters to my younger self’.

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Dearest 24-year old me,

Dry your eyes, dear, and let me start by telling you that despite what happened earlier in the cafeteria, despite how much your heart hurts right now and how utterly confused you feel, you made the right decision. You really did.

It was not right for Aaron to say that you don’t love him enough if you’re willing to move 20,000 km away from him. Also, he’s a jerk for saying that if your relationship falters due to the long distance, it will be entirely your fault since you’re leaving him. Unfortunately, being his obstinate self, it’ll take him a while to realise that he shouldn’t have said what he did which will mean that it’ll be a while before you are near to feeling okay about today.

I didn’t warn you about the ill-fated conversation because it was a discussion that the both of you needed to have. I know you regret suggesting, over a bland dinner of rice and fried chicken, that since you’ll both be apart for two years, experiencing new things, meeting new people, perhaps it’s better (actually, you used the word ‘logical’) to split up so that there won’t be any feelings of guilt should anything happen. My dear, you do realise why you suggested this, don’t you? You’ve had a strong, unpleasant, yucky feeling since he told you that he was going to pursue his lifelong ambition of being a pilot, an ambition that you didn’t realise was lifelong since he only told you about it only 6 months ago. And by then, you’d been together for 3 years and friends since you’re both 18. You were beginning to doubt the both of you together and frankly, he used that doubt to make you feel guilty about furthering your studies in Canada.

You may think that going to Canada right now is a mistake but not to spill the beans or anything, Canada will be awesome! You’ll meet Lynne, Janice, Leah – lifelong friends. You’ll have a wonderful landlady, Rafaella who bakes banana bread and leaves it in your refrigerator for you to find after a long day of lectures. Canada will change you, mold you. Plus, Canada has poutine. So, if you don’t go, you’ll never have a chance to experience the deliciousness of that awesome dish 🙂

Now that your tears have lessened (I hope), drink water, get sleep. You don’t want to go for class tomorrow with swollen eyes.

Goodnight.

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30 thoughts on “Choosing Canada

      • Where in Canada? The reason I ask is because I have a memory of the most delicious fries i have ever tasted, eaten in the way home from Montreal, somewhere in Quebec between Montreal and the US border. They were served with mayo. Yum!

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  1. This format is fabulous for A to Z. I wouldn’t want my older self to take away all my challenges and hard decisions, but what I like is your reflective perspective on what were crucial decisions and what paths they led us to. This would be such a good writing exercise for me to write to my earlier selves. Thank you for showing me the way!

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    • Hello Sammy – As I was conceptualising this theme, I realised too that if I did have an opportunity to advise my younger self, it shouldn’t be all about warnings and such but also about providing consolation. I think your younger self would appreciate that. In time 🙂 Thanks for reading!

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    • Thanks Julianne! I miss poutine so darn much, can’t find it here. Will probably have to make it myself one of these days! Or head to Canada LOL

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    • Hi Shahira – thanks for taking the time to read my post. I keep telling myself ‘If only I knew that when I was younger’ and realised that with this challenge, I have the opportunity to explore that. Happy A to Zing!

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  2. Gosh – you’ve got a great theme here! I love it! And it’s so honestly written.

    And so valid – what we would do to be able to write our past selves a few warning letters or letters of consolation just to make some of those tough ones be more bearable. But I also like the acknowledgement that you slip in there, that you didn’t warn your past self, because this was, as so many things in our lives often are, an important (though painful) moment in your development.

    Loved it… 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

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    • Hello Tricia – thank you for taking the time to read my post. I really appreciate your words. True, I had a debate with myself about how deep I had to dig and concluded that I had to really dig deep for some issues and just say it the way it was. It’s tough to be vulnerable but I’m trying to get there. Hope you’re having a good A to Z!

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