C is for Crazy Relatives

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge. Each post will be associated with a letter of the alphabet with the theme ‘Lessons from a Wedding’.

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She was sure this applied to everyone at the wedding reception (realsimple.com)
She was sure this applied to everyone at the wedding reception (realsimple.com)

Truth: Weddings beget the appearance of Crazy Relatives.

She cringed as she recalled the relatives who had never visited before but with the prospect of free food, booze and entertainment suddenly descended en masse to her sister’s wedding.

There was the distant (at least five intergalactic light years away) cousin who called her dad a few days before the wedding asking him if she could come because she’s never attended a wedding that had New Zealanders among the crowd of guests and she was curious. There was no mention that she wanted to attend because she missed spending time with the family. At least she was being honest.  

There was also the first cousin who repeatedly told her that she looked gorgeous in her gown and kept eyeing her from head to toe, not even trying to disguise the slightly lewd gaze that overcame his face. This must be how Bridget Jones felt when her uncle pinched her bum. But multiplied by infinity, she thought.

How could she forget her dad’s sister-in-law’s sister by marriage who took it upon herself to interrogate the catering crew asking if the food was freshly cooked because she didn’t think so and why were there no chicken curry because it’s her favourite food. She probably forgot that she was not part of the decision-making circle when it came to the wedding menu.

After everyone had left and it was the day after, she was supremely grateful that she’d never see these crazy relatives again, anymore.

Truth: One can only take the presence of crazy relatives in ultra-microscopic doses.

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10 thoughts on “C is for Crazy Relatives

  1. Oh, perfect! Followed your link from my (Crimean War) blog and what a delightful surprise to find your ever-so-creative theme. My husband’s last unmarried daughter is getting married in August in the UK (we’re in Malaysia but will go home for it) and, as the step-mother, well…I just KNOW I’m gonna appreciate your sense of humour and perspective. It might just keep me sane. I suppose you’ll have “K” as “kissing” or something but *I* think I could do with a lesson on “K”eeping one’s mouth shut. I am much better at it this time around. Keep up the good work–and thanks for your comment on mine.

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    • Hi Cynthia. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. I think K for Keeping one’s mouth shut is a wonderful suggestion LOL will definitely keep it in mind.

      Yes, a HUGE sense of humour is an absolute must at weddings and it helps to remind oneself that weddings are happy events. Sometimes people forget 🙂

      See you around A to Z!

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  2. What excellent detail. I can really see these people. My cousin and I refer to such people as the FLOs, which stands for F—— Loved Ones. Have you ever seen “Four Weddings and a Funeral”? You might enjoy it. (A to Z!)

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    • Hahaha Lillian! FLOs! I definitely will add this acronym to my vocab. Yes, I’ve seen “Four Weddings and a Funeral” and loved it. Other wedding-themed movies I like is Father of the Bride with Steve Martin. Hilarious 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and happy A to Z!

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  3. Your series here is cracking me up! As a person who generally avoids most of my blood relatives but for a special occasion now and then, let’s just say I am still nodding in agreement with that last line.

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    • It’s strange ain’t it? When you don’t see your relatives, you kind of miss them. But once you finally meet up, you can only stand them for 2 minutes, tops!

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