do they have an evolutionary purpose – sideburns? are they supposed to protect our ears? and if so, from what? insects? are insects even afraid of the extraneous hair that seems to grow beside our ears? perhaps their role is not as protectors or defenders – but as friends! Friends and companions to ears that are the only organ on each side of our heads. Perhaps without sideburns to crack jokes with or discuss existentialism – our ears would be extremely lonely organs. I can imagine when left-ear hears a gossip, it whispers to left-sideburn and left-ear will wiggle in indignant while left-sideburn rustles, curious. Sideburns. They could be more meaningful than we give them credit for. They keep our ears company.